The Apocalype is here

Hunter Thompson is dead by his own hands and Bob Dylan is now making country albums with his own hands. Fuck. When did the apocalypse happen? When did even the rich man’s security come into jeopardy? Was it September 11th that did it? Was it W? It can’t all be heaped on him, can it? I mean a good deal can. But he dodges shoes. He’ll soon reach Chuck Norris status. He’ll appear on Conan O’Brien and do bits with him. That is in the near future. But sometime in the last fifteen years the apocalypse, the literal biblical apocalypse, came to pass but we all missed it. So if you’re poor or a minority—or both—don’t worry; you’re not the one to blame. It’s everybody else that will presently put to death in some horrible fashion as yet to be determined. If you’re one of the lucky ones, your life will be spared butt both of your ears will be chopped off and you will be sterilized.
When did we become a race of inbred wankers? After all its only a gang-raping bunch of inbred wankers that would not pay attention and consequently miss the entire apocalypse. Butt shit, why would grease soaked, semen stained, sister screwing inbred wankers care about the fucking apocalypse in the first place? They’re not even self-aware. A small fern is more self aware than inbred wankers are.
It’s you lucky ones that have to suffer. At first you won’t care or notice those missing. They will be insignificant people. But soon you will notice friends and neighbors missing. One of them might escape and come back for help. Then you will see them with their ears missing and hears graphic tales of forced sterilization without any anesthesia. And these things you will try hard to quickly forget and say to yourself that these former people had committed some unimaginably heinous crime. Then you came to believe that they deserved their scars and punishments.
Butt one night, when things are quiet and peaceful you will find yourself hogtied, raped, beaten, and forcibly sterilized on your dining room table with your own kitchen utensils. And you will come to the bitch of all realizations that you live in America, and that you are in hell…